"For whatever I did or
failed to do which contributed to my daughter's alcoholism problem I will always bear the
responsibility and perhaps the guilt. But the fact that my daughter is now a devout
Catholic and has left the faith of her family, for that I hold the rabbinate responsible.
It is not as though she was primarily attracted to another religion, but rather by default
of the Jewish resources."
At a weekend retreat for Jewish alcoholics,
chemically dependent people, and their family members, this mother went on to
explain,
"My daughter was an
excellent student, and when her grades began to drop we knew something had to be wrong. We
eventually discovered she was drinking too much. When she failed her courses she sought
help for her problem in an alcoholism clinic. She told her counselor that she felt
spiritually empty, and he advised her to see a rabbi. The rabbi she consulted admonished
her to control her drinking, and told her that it was a disgrace for a Jew to drink
excessively. The rabbi offered no response to her feelings of spiritual bankruptcy.
Her counselor then told
her of a priest who was knowledgeable in alcohol problems. She began to see this priest,
and progressed well in her recovery. She is now happily married, eight years sober, and a
devout Catholic."
This is a serious indictment, but one which I
believe has great validity. Nowhere in the years of my training to become a rabbi was I
taught anything about alcoholism, nor do I recall any attention given to the problem
either in rabbinic journals or at conventions.
It may be convenient to adhere to the
myth that Jews cannot be alcoholics, but this denial constitutes a serious dereliction of
duty. To dispel this myth, one need only ask proprietors of country clubs, who just
several decades ago shunned Jewish affairs because they could not make their profits on
the sale of alcoholic beverages. These same facilities now welcome Jewish business because
the drinking is more than adequate to turn a profit.
Whereas the incidence of alcoholism
among Jews, while no longer negligible, may indeed be less than in the non-Jewish
population (a rather hollow consolation), the same cannot be said of chemical dependency
involving other mood altering drugs.
Among the older population, addiction
to tranquilizers, sedatives, and pain pills is quite common; and among the young adults
and adolescents the problem of marijuana dependency as well as abuse of other street drugs
is rampant.
The recent epidemic spread of cocaine
has deeply affected Jews. Cocaine is probably the most vicious and dangerous of all drugs,
surpassing even the dreaded heroin in its total devastation of mind, body, and family.
What can
be done about the problem? The first step is awareness. As long as we believe the
problem is not ours we will do nothing. Recognition of the realities of life is of
paramount importance, and must be faced squarely by the clerical and lay leadership, as
well as the Jewish community at large.
Yeshivas and seminaries must
begin to introduce courses dealing with chemical dependency.
Jewish communal professionals
must become knowledgeable in the field.
Community education programs
must begin to feature programs of substance abuse.
All individuals involved in
Jewish communal life must learn to recognize the problem of chemical dependency, and
become familiar with the resources so essential to treatment recovery be they
detoxification, rehabilitation, counseling or self-help programs.
However great the stigma attached to
alcoholism or chemical addiction, it can no longer be allowed to interfere with getting
help. Jews have a tendency to be most secretive about emotional disturbances within their
families, and often avoid seeking help, for fear of exposure and shame. Furthermore, since
family participation is crucial in the recovery process, parents may have concerns that
they will meet other members of their community at a treatment facility, and that their
private nightmare will be "known to others."
It must be understood that chemical
dependency, whether it involves alcohol, narcotics, cocaine, or other addictive
substances, is a malignant condition. Unless arrested, it is like a cancer: progressive,
destructive and lethal. It may claim as its victims not only the user, but the family
members as well. Its consequences are far-reaching and devastating. With a problem of this
severity, we can no longer afford to deny or hide our need for help.
Whatever the initial approach to
treatment, long-term recovery invariably requires participation in Alcoholics Anonymous,
Narcotics Anonymous, or Pills Anonymous. Psychological therapy can be adjunctive to
involvement in these programs, but cannot be relied upon to be the sole treatment
modality.
Some people mistakenly believe that
programs such as Alcoholics Anonymous have a Christian orientation and are "off
limits" to Jews. But anyone familiar with AA, NA, PA knows that this is simply not
true. The Twelve Steps of the "anonymous" fellowships are very compatible with
Judaism, and those Jews familiar with the concepts of musar (Jewish ethics) will recognize
the similarities.
Consider the following AA steps in light of the
Jewish sources quoted: |
What about
the fact that most AA and NA meetings are held in churches?
This is only because until
recently no one had made any effort to hold them in synagogues, or because synagogues did
not welcome them. More and more synagogues have now become the site of AA and NA
meetings.
What about the
prayers at AA meetings?
No one is obligated to say any
particular prayer. When others recite prayers of their liturgy, a Jew may recite any
prayer from the sidur (Jewish prayer book).
Jews who observe the laws of
Kashrut can generally arrange for Kosher provisions in a rehabilitation center. Some
rehabilitation centers have already accommodated various observances without any
difficulty. Nor need there be any problem in Sabbath observance or in setting time for
daily services.
In 1980 a group known as
JACS (Jewish Alcoholics, Chemically Dependent Persons, and Significant Others) came into
being under the auspices of the Federation of Jewish Philanthropies and the New York Board
of Rabbis. In addition to being the resource center, JACS provides two annual weekend
retreats for recovering persons and their family members to focus on Jewish spiritual
issues. In many communities, local JACS affiliates have developed to stimulate community
awareness, provide information and resources, and create a supportive and understanding
network for Jewish recoverers and their families.
It is clear that chemical
dependency has become a Jewish problem, but it is also clear that there are support
systems and solutions which can and must be utilized to help the Jewish recoverer. There
is no longer any excuse for not recognizing the problem or not knowing where to turn for
information or help.
The problem
is ours! We cannot walk away from it!
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