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Should Jews kneel in prayer as part of recovery
A Question and Answers from the JACS On-Line Discussion List.

...the discussion I would love to be directed to is regarding the suggestion of kneeling in prayer.

I have been doing it, it works , but it also feels kinda funny always.. I'm scared to stop, but I don't like it and now I am moving in with an observant boyfriend. uh-oh!!

Do you have anything in your archives concerning this dilemma? I am sure it has come up before. I would appreciate any info on discussion and sharing on this matter. Also directions to rabbinical advice concerning this. I am not observant, but I am very definitely Jewish. Know what I mean?

I am sure others here will jump in with their feelings about kneeling in prayer. My personal feelings are I don't because it's not a Jewish practice. However I heard a rabbi who was also an alcoholic say, if it's to save your life, it's OK halachically.

I remember reading somewhere that we don't bow down in prayer too often,-- there are prayers where we do,-- because we may forget how to hold our head high. I remember Rabbi Twerski citing the story of Saul about proper humility, Saul said he couldn't do what G-d wanted because he wasn't good enough, and G-d said, who was Saul to say he wasn't good enough, if G-d said he was. Belittling one's self is not humble, for me, it's reverse arrogance. This took me umpteen years in sobriety to learn.

With reference to your question about kneeling, it may be worth exploring !) whether you really want to decide whether kneeling is okay for you as a Jew or whether you are really asking for someone to affirm your right to kneel, and if the latter, then 2) who you are trying to convince that kneeling is okay, you or your boyfriend.

Second, someone else could better answer the halakhic questions (although I think it's a stretch to suggest that kneeling is okay as a "life-saving" function), it is clearly minhag (custom) not to kneel. In many observant communities minhag takes on the force of law. There are even chasidic stories to this effect. So whether halakha or minhag it is clearly forbidden to kneel under all but very prescribed circumstances in Jewish prayer. Thus, no answer you get in the affirmative may convince your partner that it is okay for you to do so.

Being someone who can kneel or not kneel, and rarely do, as well as someone who has to negotiate issues of relationship, I would wholeheartedly suggest that this is not one that should become a major tug of war in a relationship. Maybe there are other ways for you to pray that will have the same effect for you.

We are taught as Jews to take on an attitude of kneeling even when standing or sitting, an attitude of dancing in stillness, and an attitude of calling out when in silence. There are many ways to pray. On the other hand....

I have a few things to say on the subject. First and most important, it is vital to separate what is merely our 'feelings' about the proper way to pray, from the actual Law or Halacha.

Halachically a person's prayer should contain three elements. standing prayers, seated prayers and prostrate prayers. The 'SHEMA" is said seated, the 'AMIDAH' is said standing and what follows is called 'NEFILLAT APAYIM' ( Falling on the Face). Today in Europe as elsewhere, this is practiced without hitting the knees or the floor except on Yom Kippur. It is generally done sitting down, and the face is buried in the arm.

The proper way is to lie down on the floor, on your face and turn your will and life over to the care of God. This is Halachically correct and may be practiced almost anywhere and anytime in public or private, with certain notable exceptions, (on Sabbath, at weddings and other Simchas, on yom tov, in a Shiva house etc.)

The Torah expressely forbids the following:

Prostrating oneself spread-eagled, (flat on the ground with arms and legs spread wide apart) when the floor is a mosaic specifically designed for this practice, and when the floor is not that of the Temple in Jerusalem!! Otherwise you might in fact be correct in saying that the spread-eagle prostration is in fact quintessentially Jewish, and will be reintroduced in the next Temple (swiftly and in our days etc.).

Imagine lying flat, spread-eagled, on the stone floor, and saying to God:

" Take it, take my will and my life, take my hand and lead me as a child. Or take my life and let me die right here and right now. I cannot move from here without Your lifting me upright and without You holding me tightly."

So much for the origins of prostration. There is reference in Maimonedes to the Islamic practice of prostration with the "TUSH" sticking up in the air. Which practice he found disgusting, repugnant, and probably based on vestigial idol worshipping rituals. Specifically to 'Baal Peor' which involved raising the bottom to the idol and doing not-nice-things.

My library to hand is not sufficiently comprehensive to make an unequivocal statement, but I have not found reference in the literature to the Halacha concerning KNEELING at prayer. Unless someone can point to such a reference that I have overlooked, I would state categorically that it is permitted by Halacha to kneel while praying to the One and Only Creator. If you have come across a reliable rabbinical ruling to the contrary on the matter, please inform me and I will withdraw my opinion. If not, and there is no reason given in authoritative texts, then, simply because someone associates it with pagan or christian worship does not make it forbidden.

That was my first point.

the second is this: A minhag or custom is not in force simply because someone says it is.. A minhag is an awesome force in Halacha and cannot be invoked simply to suppress someone else's preferred way of doing things. The fact that it has been done, does not make it a custom.

Most people do not concentrate on a single word they say while praying in Synagogue, does that make it a Custom, a Minhag?. Most people talk all the way through the Torah reading, does that make it a minhag? Just because we don't see women as Shochetim, (animal slaughterers) does not disqualify them. "I've never seen it done" is not a proof.

Like the Twelve steps in general, there is nothing Christian about kneeling in prayer -- or better said, there is nothing not Jewish about it. As a matter of fact, we have some evidence of it such as in the Grand Aleynu during the High Holidays. What makes certain things seem Christian or not Jewish is often the context or what we associate with it.

I no longer kneel in prayer. I was very difficult thing for me to learn though.

When I was a Christian, kneeling was a natural thing to do and my sponsor insisted that I do so while praying. I complied. No problem.

As time went on I developed a system where I every morning my knees would hit the floor before my feet would. It was great.

When I converted to Judaism however, it seemed inappropriate for me to continue praying like a Christian so I resolved to learn how to pray as a Jew.

As a side note, I needed a new way to pray like I needed a hole in the head. When I prayed to God it was like I was tapping into the universe. So ... when I attempted to learn how to pray like a Jew, i.e. standing up, I lost all contact with God. I felt all alone.

I spent several months searching for a way to regain contact. I tried so many things like using a single place in a room next to a wall every time I prayed. It helped but it was to no avail. I continued to try.

Finally, my wife showed me a pair of tefillin her father had used to pray with. I pulled out several reference books and tried to figure out how to use them. It was tough since I had no model.

Once I was reasonably sure I knew the proper way to use them, I went to my spot to try to pray to God again. I opened my book with illustrations and I began to wrap my arm with the leather strap. As I turned the strap arounf my arm I could feel something. It felt as if God was coming closer. Once I had a strap on my arm I placed the other tefillin on my head. I finished wrapping my hand and I stumbled through the prayers. I am certain I got them wrong, but I was trying.

I felt like a fool.

I took a few steps forward. I extended my arms and I said, "Here I am God -- a Jew as You wish me to be."

That was when I felt Him in the room. It was as if a door opened and a fresh wind had blown on me. I felt that old familiar feeling again. I was praying. This time it was as Jew.

I have to go. I am putting the kids to bed and it is late. My son has sounded the shofar. It was odd how that shofar sounded when I was writing those last few words. "This time it was as a Jew." God is near.

I cannot address your specific question about kneeling at prayer, but I'm opposed to kneeling in general. I think it predisposes to osteoarthritis.

Should Jews kneel in prayer as part of recovery A Question and Answers from the JACS On-Line Discussion List.

Should Jews kneel in prayer as part of recovery
A Question and Answers from the JACS On-Line Discussion List.