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Reflections on the JACS Retreat, One Day Later
New York City, November 15, 1999

Written by Leia Susskind, Sao Paulo, Brazil

**Leia and Marcos Susskind are the JACS Regional Advocates for South America who traveled from Brazil just to attend the JACS Retreat. They run a Tough Love group for parents of chemically dependent teenagers and are working to educate the Jewish community in Brazil about addiction among its members. Their native language is Portuguese and other than a little basic editing (mostly spelling,) you are reading this piece exactly as it was written. Apologies to the author for any errors of translation! **

Yesterday finished the 42nd JACS Retreat. We had a long trip to get there. We had a lot of costs and we had the difficult, strange language. With all these, I have no words to thank the people who shared with me and gave me the opportunity to grow up. I couldn't imagine how strong would be these experiences and the people had kindness, love, honesty and courage to see themselves in the mirror and share themselves intimately. Never in my life have I seen such transformation in people. Nobody is more than anyone. It is completely another world. I felt like everybody was naked.

I am looking for words to show people in our recovery group, in our family, in our community, to explain our experience, but I am giving up. It's impossible to share with one who didn't participate how it was. I saw my son in all the exposing. Now I understand his depression, and how strong was the drug to survive in our dysfunctional family.

We are working hard to change to not control his life and to be a nice family. I hope one day to write here that my son found his way and his happiness. Maybe returning to the family, maybe no. Doesn't matter. The important thing to me is to listen. He wants to live and that means he found G-d inside himself.

This was my first contact with chemically dependent people at all and it was amazing to share their recovery. We were taught love today and maybe my son feels like almost every dependent person I listened to. The parents didn't have sentiments, didn't like them. What they can't understand is our side. I love my addict son more than my life. He was my third child and my baby. If I could give my life to him to recover, I would. But I know that is impossible, and I hope one day he will believe in our strong love for him.

Thanks to everybody who received us so warmly, so kindly and so lovely. Now I believe the world is not lost. I hope it is possible to pass the lovely world to my grandchildren in the future because the world has people like you.

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