JACS Library - Our Stories

JACS: Jewish Alcoholics, Chemically Dependent Persons, and Significant Others

JACS LIBRARY - OUR STORIES

On prayer and clowning around

I have always wanted to give back to the world something good. I felt that one way I could do that was to give back to children. By making happier better children, the world would eventually get better. To that end, I became a professional clown.

I was part of a clown alley that did charity events once a month so when the Israel Fair called the clown alley up and we volunteered to do a show, I was delighted!

While I was at the fair one of my friends came running up to me really excited. He told me that Chabad had a booth at the fair and they were showing Jews how to lay tefillin.

I ran! (Remember, I really had no model for laying tefillin so anyone who could show me more was welcome.) Imagine this -- a clown in big floppy shoes, checkered jacket, bowler hat and flaming red hair squeaking all the way to the Chabad booth! :-)

I came running up and said, "I want to lay tefillin!" I smiled a big smile. I was sincere if nothing else. :-) They looked at me as if I was from outer space. They scratched their heads and thought for a moment and then they said they could do it. They were terrific. They pushed back my wig and I removed my coat. We did it. They were really willing to accept me as I was -- make up, floppy hat and all. You have to respect that.

Another story regarding clowning and AA. One day when I was performing as a clown in a children's hospital I noted that one floor had a alcohol recovery unit. I decided to go up there and cheer the guys up. After all, how many other clowns are going to go up there, right? So ... I went through the ward and did my best to cheer people up. It broke up the day for them.

[Personally I think a bug crawling across the floor would have broken up the day for that lot. It was really dreary there. Yuk!]

Before I left I visited the drying out section. The guys there were only a few hours sober. Many of they were no doubt still trying to discern between dream and reality. I came barreling in to surprise them. They were surprised all right. :-) One guy did remember me when he got out and he told me in a meeting he was sure glad I came. That felt real good.

Final story: one of my buddies in AA was really down and taking himself too seriously. I told him he should try this clown class I took and try giving back something. He attended a few classes and I helped him with make up, costume and gags. He seemed never to really get into it and he dropped out before finishing the class. I didn't see him for a very long time after that.

One day I stepped into a meeting and there he was again. I was feeling down that day and it seemed like everything was getting on my nerves. He stopped me after the meeting and what seemed to me to be out of the blue, told me how much it helped him to attend those clown classes. It taught him to loosen up and to be a child again.

Then he said some thing like, "You know something. You really helped me when you said ... " He then repeated something so profound and so eloquent, I was certain it could not have come from me. It was so good I can't even remember what it was, but it helped me and I felt better that day.

I can only conclude that I had one lucid moment when it all came together and he was standing next to me when it happened. He remembered it and I didn't and when I needed it most, he gave it back to me. Thank you friend.