JACS Retreats

JACS: Jewish Alcoholics, Chemically Dependent Persons, and Significant Others

JACS RETREATS

JACS SPIRITUAL RETREAT - A REMARKABLE EXPERIENCE

It was mid-afternoon Friday May 4th, 2001 and we had just pulled in to the Swan Lake Hotel in the middle of the Catskill Mountains. Yes, Swan Lake, and no, it was not the ballet. But the music and meaning of that weekend were far more powerful than the most intricate ballet.

This was our first time at a JACS retreat, although it was the 45th spiritual retreat for JACS. The theme of the retreat was "You shall be Holy: Love me, Don't Judge Me." This retreat was chaired by Chuck R., a friend who has been involved in JACS for many years and who learned about the organization through his Rabbi, Ely B., who also came to the Retreat for the first time.

It was a non-stop blur of closed meetings, Shabbat services and open meetings for recovering addicts, their spouses or partners, clergy and people who are still trying to find where they fit in. At JACS, everybody fits in. But to be there, you must be a person in recovery, or, as they say "clean" or somebody who has had to live with one or more of such people. I would venture to say that virtually all our lives are affected by addictive behaviour, either directly or indirectly. For those very few and very fortunate who have somehow escaped this over the generations, I offer a hearty mazal-tov. The other 99.9995 percent of us are likely living in denial.

Let me tell you some of the things that took place. Newcomers such as Natalie and I were linked with 'buddies' whose job it was to show us around. Our buddies were from New Jersey and were wonderful people. He was born Jewish but with an Italian father and never had much religion. Well, that is until he came to JACS. Last year, at a JACS retreat, this man, a retired engineer and a recovering alcoholic, celebrated his Bar Mitzvah. He is so proud of that moment that his face beams when he describes it. And this year, several more Jewish addicts proudly celebrated their Bar or Bat Mitzvahs with the JACS family. I did not attend those services, because those ceremonies took place at the 'general services' and I was at the Orthodox services. There was a third gathering as well, led by a Chassidic Rabbi. That group was called "Why I'm Not at Services" and it spent the same amount of time talking as the rest of us spent praying. JACS, you see, offers something for everyone. In the Orthodox service we davened (prayed) and we sang and we danced and we hummed niggunim (wordless tunes) -- and, as they say in a slightly different context -- "I could have danced all night". The spiritual level of the congregation was elevated and we lost all track of time in the two hours we prayed and sang on Erev Shabbat. What is more remarkable to me is that many of the men in Shtreimelach (fur hats) and their finest Shabbat garments were recovery drug addicts or alcoholics. And late Friday night, a young man spoke to the group. He was a physician from New York, from an observant family and a very successful doctor. He was married and had beautiful children and he had been a casual marijuana user. Then it became not so casual until it reached the point where he was severely depressed and attempted to take his life. His wife found him in a park and rushed him to emergency. He spent many months in hospital and now he thanks JACS for helping him to recover.

It was all an incredible experience. Saturday, I sang and prayed two seats from a pleasant-looking and very orthodox man who was deeply involved in prayer throughout the morning services. Saturday evening, the leaders of the retreat did a 'count-down' where people are asked to stand up if they have been 'clean' for anywhere from 40 years down to one day, with many stops in between. My neighbour from the Shabbat morning services stood up when they called out 'one day.' I was overwhelmed. Here was an orthodox Jew whose life may well have been out of control Friday, and who was convinced to attend this retreat. He stood up in front of nearly 300 others to say that he had found the road to recovery and that Hashem (G-d) was going to help him stay on it. I cannot describe in words the feelings that come to the surface when you see and feel these things first hand.

And Saturday night, after Havadalah (between Shabbat & the weekday) services (which were another Chassidic treat, with singing and dancing and candles for everyone) there was a "big meeting" where everyone attended and the speaker was a young man (18 years old) whose life had been spiraling downward until one year ago. He was a cocaine addict and his prospects for longevity were not so good. Erev Shabbat, with gratitude to JACS and Narcotics Anonymous, he celebrated his first full year of abstinence, and he spoke to thank everyone for giving him another chance at life. And he talked about several of his friends, people with whom he formerly used drugs, who had also become 'clean.' If that was not enough to elicit tears, you only had to be at the meeting Sunday morning, because his parents were also at this retreat, and his mother, shaking and nervous, came forward to speak and to thank JACS for giving their son back to them. I assure you there was not a dry eye in the house.

This was all about sobriety and fighting addiction and being Jewish. There was an ultra-orthodox woman speaking whose father was a significant player in the Chassidic world -- a woman who grew up observing at the strictest level -- and who said she had questioned the existence of G-d until now. She said that JACS had reaffirmed her belief in Hashem, and that she was eternally grateful. And there was a man, nearly 50 years old, who had been clean 18 years but whose past was full of drugs of all shapes and sizes. He had spent time in prison for some illegal activity he declined to discuss. In prison, he would sneak out to native 'sweat lodges' twice a week as a means of escaping the prison grounds. Eventually a visiting rabbi found him and taught him to put on tefillin and told him he should pray as a Jew. He began praying as a Jew with his native friends, and they respected him for it. The Sunday our retreat ended, he was flying to Jerusalem to study for a few months.

That is the beginning of my story of JACS. It is an organization, started by Jews, for Jews, and about recovery and spirituality. The people in attendance were from all wings of Judaism: observant, traditional, non-observant, and the son who didn't know what to ask. But they were all there for the same purpose -- to admit they were powerless over their behavior, to share their feelings, to ask Hashem to help them in their recovery and to help each other. It is an experience I shall never forget, and, to recall what is said at the end of a meeting "keep coming back" -- I will.

-- Tom G.